It’s still rape

There are a lot of good things about this article. I like the way it emphasises that rapists are not some strange subspecies that lives in dark alleyways but “fathers, brothers, husbands”. I am glad that they highlighted the abysmal rape conviction rate.

But then they spoiled it all by using the word ’sex’ in the headline and elsewhere. Sex with a woman who does not or cannot consent is rape. Sex with a woman who is being forced to do it by someone other than yourself is rape. Sex with a woman who you can reasonably suspect is not able to consent is still rape.

These men justify it by calling it anything other than rape. I wish the media would not allow them that comfort.

For once, something good to say

I don’t, personally, think that women carrying guns or knives is an effective way to deal with sexual violence – not out of any kind of pacifist sentiment, but because I believe that we have to tackle the root of the problem and do so collectively.

Neither does the author of this article, but rather than participating in the usual sensationalism and condemnation (‘Lesbian Gangs’!!!), she or he actually takes the time to look at the causes and examine them sympathetically.

Some reasons why I think this article is well written:

• Assumes that women’s experiences of violence are not only real, but more common than acknowledged
• Seeks to understand their experiences and resulting decisions
• Recognises the continuum between so called “minor” harrassment and major sexual violence
• Places violence against women in the context of a sexist society
• Avoids sensationalism
• Avoids portraying the choices of these women as irrational
• Uses statistics critically
• Not only avoids, but challenges victim blaming
• Whilst writing about stranger rape/violence, does acknowledge the existence of acquaintance rape/violence.
• Does not hesitate to criticise the police for their attitude and actions/inactions

There are some criticisms I could make of this article, and perhaps my standards are low – it’s incredibly sad that I read it three times before believing it was free of victim blaming, but I think it is definitely on the right track.

An extract:

Large swathes of London are no-go areas for women walking alone at night: men in these areas seem to think that lone women are fair game for abuse, attack and intimidation.

The British Crime Survey estimates that there are nearly 200,000 incidents of rape and sexual assault in England and Wales every year. Of these, the police record about 12,000 and only 6% of these cases result in a conviction.

Young women and girls feel increasingly preyed upon by their male peers. The ante has been upped and there seem to be unprecedented levels of violence between young men and women. It’s not nice to leave your home at night and wonder whether you are a rape victim waiting to happen in a world where there is a general unpleasant and insidious feeling of fear and intimidation, fuelled by catcalls, idle threats and dirty comments made by opportunistic losers.

… 

Many women can identify with the anger and frustration as yet another complete stranger sidles up to them in the street and mumbles something disgusting before following them at close quarters. This doesn’t happen once or twice but all day, every day and it has to stop. Women are fed up of being shown such scant respect. It’s annoying in daylight, terrifying at night. Except clearly many women are refusing to be scared, instead they are downright angry and want to take more direct means to deal with these situations.

Now those who govern and police our society can either own the situation and take measures to control the spread of violence and intimidation against women by those who seek to impinge on the freedoms this society bestows on members of both sexes. Or we can carry on carrying knives.